I'm so angry, this youth group came here and I can't lie, seriously, I hate lying to people so when we filled out this questionnaire I just said a few things and UGH. So they had a talk with me after class and it was bad because they pulled me aside before class actually ended so then people knew something was up and I don't want them to know anything. Even though I've stopped being all messed up with cutting and such, because my dad really screwed me up in the head and I still have all these feelings, they want me to see a counsellor.

I'm such a sensitive emotional person, I can't stop crying now. I really hate talking about my dad. It's the worst thing for me. I break down in tears just thinking about it. I'm probably like this because I'm so good at keeping everything bottled up, now it's just all coming out. URGH.

I'm not looking forward to this. I'm only comfortable talking to my friends about it because they're my friends, not some stranger.

When I was talking to the people about it, the one girl started crying, it was kinda nice in a way. I guess that sounds bad but it was like, bah, I can't explain.

I'm off now.

blah. ugh.

Sometimes, well, more than sometimes, I feel like just taking an axe and cutting up all the people I hate and all the things I want to destroy and... well...

I don't know, I'm so frustrated today, though I am everyday, today especially.

I hate it, I want to kill today. I may just sleep or go sit in the rain or just...

I wish I had some empty beer bottles to just break, that always helps.

I just remembered this. Tony and I at the station, waiting for the bus to Toronto, I think we were going to see sparta and hot water music..... yes, we were.



Tony: "What's the point of having tinted windows?"
Me: *looks in window and fixes hair.* "I dunno."

Oh yah, I've got deux tickets to NoFX. . . and that rules!!!

If Adam can't go, it'll be the opposite of ruling, it will suck.

But. . . NoFX!!! they themselves rules.


it would be a 50/50 night if adam can't go.

so when i come on here at school, i'll be happy.

subject: <3... because april 23 ruled, major, stuff. says:
if you could have 3 wishes, what would you wish for?

And living this life is easy, if you never look behind the scenery says:
all i need is one

subject: <3... because april 23 ruled, major, stuff. says:
what would you wish for?

And living this life is easy, if you never look behind the scenery says:
to see you